Four Workplace Communication Tips

The art of communicating authentically is a learned skill. It takes coaching and practice to do it well. Authentic communication requires that you be truthful, open and deliberate in what you say as well as in how you listen and respond to what others say. This tool illustrates that four skills that help leaders use authentic communication.

Speak From Your Own Viewpoint

The best leaders share their opinions frankly. They state their concerns up front. One good way is to personalize your comments, taking responsibility for your positions, opinions and values, rather than offering generalizations or blaming others or outside forces. Say, “I feel disappointed about our progress,” rather than, “This group is the pits.”

This method lowers the defenses of your hearers by not deflecting blame away from yourself. Nobody can assert that you are not concerned or that you are more hopeful that you are willing to show. “I prefer to start at nine exactly” is unambiguous; “You are late again! You delay us at every meeting” will certainly elicit a defensive response.

Another way people hide their real positions is by burying them in questions. “Are you planning to make that statement in public?” is a way of assailing the listening, not gathering information. “I would prefer you not say that in your presentation” is a negative statement, but it clearly recognizes that this is your opinion and not absolute.

Does it seem like nitpicking? It’s not really. The major difference is in the kind of response you seek to evoke from your listeners.

Adjust Your Communication Style

Everyone has natural communication style. The styles of communication can be empirically broken down into four classes: Directors, Expressers, Thinkers, and Harmonizers. The Straight Talk® communication survey will help you to discover your communication style, as well as the styles of others.  You will also find pointers to help you make your communication more effective and balanced.

Once you understand your communication style, you’ll have a deeper appreciation of what it takes to communicate into someone’s “listening space.” Directors, for example, want information in quick, bottom line bullet points. Expressers want a fuller exploration of different options and ideas. Thinkers want to hear the detailed thinking behind a proposal. And Harmonizers want to understand the impact of any proposal on people.

Those who adjust their tone to suit their listeners are the best communicators. By tailoring their style, they help people relax and feel more receptive to what they’re saying. This helps them be more effective leaders and managers. As needed, they also make overt reference to differences in style to defuse tension and resolve conflicts between styles. This does a great deal to build trust.

Use Powerful Listening

Powerful listening is an active skill. A good listener concentrates not just on words, but on understanding the underlying point of view of the other person. Powerful listeners focus on subtle tones, facial expressions and context, and then respond in a way that demonstrates they have heard the speaker’s meaning as well as the words. They listen to understand, rather than spending the time constructing their rebutal.

One way to be sure you understand exactly what the speaker means, and to communicate your understanding, is by reflecting back to the speaker what you believe he or she is saying. Paraphrasing means more than repeating their words. It means reiterating the speaker’s points without simply repeating his or her words and taking account of the physical signals and tone of voice employed.

To introduce a paraphrase, you might say “It sounds as if . . .” or “I can see that . . .” Paraphrasing is the best way to give an encouraging reply in spite of the fact that you don’t agree. Being able to express the speaker’s position clearly says to the speaker that, even though you disagree with the position, you value him or her enough to listen carefully.

Paraphrasing lets the speaker make his or her position clearer, as well. He may say: “Yes, that’s it.Or he may respond: “Actually, let me make that clearer.” That sets the stage for a deeper conversation – one in which you can play the role of facilitator.

Don’t forget that 60 percent of communication doesn’t use words. In other words, if you listen only to what someone says, you’re missing more than half of the conversation.

It’s not enough to listen; you also must show that you are listening. Maintain eye contact, lean forward, nod, vocalize agreement when appropriate by saying, “I see,” “Um hmm”; take notes if that is appropriate. Do not wave at passers-by, lean back with your arms crossed, watch the TV, wear sun glasses, pay attention to external events, or look at your watch. Instead, teach yourself to focus entirely on the communication at hand.

Make Your Communication Data-Driven

Data-driven communication requires that you do two things:

First, you bring your assumptions into the open. “I suppose that we will be affected by these economic hard times just as others in our industry have.”

Next, you seek out missing facts. You inquire: “Does anybody have facts that would help me make my assumptions more accurate?”

When your communication is data-driven, you seek to bring other people’s assumptions and concerns into the conversation. You ask: “Help me understand your thinking. What are you assuming will happen?”

When you’re data-driven, you make sure you bring issues to the table. If there’s an exchange in the hallway that is relevant, you share it with everyone. If you are feeling uncomfortable or confused, you tell those you are with (if you feel that way, others probably do, as well). If you have an issue that you fear to raise because of the possible repercussions, you confer with the chair or someone else who can help you create a strategy.

When you’re data-driven, you use concrete examples and specifics to help people get on the same page. You don’t get mired in generalities; you introduce specific cases that help people understand whether you’re talking about a 2% increase in spending – or a 20% increase.

Finally, when you’re data-driven, you stay humble. You start from the assumption that you don’t have a perfect view of every situation. You ask for other people’s points of view. You recognize that people can be misled by the “assumption of competence.” You understand that individuals who assume they are competent are usually the least competent of all.

A significant body of research shows that “the assumption of competence” is highest among those who are least competent in a variety of activities.

Did you find this information useful? Looking for more concrete illustrations and example cases? Obtain your copy of Eric Douglas’s new leadership book for Leading at Light Speed. This is an indispensable guide for leaders and leading organizations who want to build trust, spark innovation, and create a high-performing organization.

July 19, 2010  Tags: advanced communication, advanced communication skills, communication skills, workplace communication  Posted in: Document Management